Growing up I was always playing with baby dolls, pushing a pram, plaiting Miss Make Up’s hair or playing ‘house’ with a friend. I knew back then I always wanted children and I longed to be a mummy. My own mum had my sister and I and then became a full time childminder when I was probably around 3/4 if i remember right, so there was always babies or toddlers in our house (Mum made it look easy having us two and maybe up-to 5 other kids in the house) and I loved playing with them and mothering them I’ve always been around children so when Peter and I got together it was clear from the start that we both wanted kids in the future.
Fast forward 10years and here we are, married 5years, with a 3year old, a 20month old and we have another baby on the way…Just call us crazy eh 😝 and as cliché as this sounds, Yes are hands are full and will soon be even fuller when baby arrives but our hearts are even fuller and we couldn’t imagine our lives without the boys and this little baby now
Dear god no one, not a one, nobody at all tells you how bloody hard motherhood/parenting is. When you meet a new mummy in the street or wherever you Congratulate them, you coo over the newborn and tell them how wonderful life is being a parent and head on. Now obviously if someone had stopped me in the street with my little newborn Seth and told me ALL the harsh realities of being a mother and how hard the days/nights can be I would probably broke down there and then but in all honesty newborns in my opinion are easy they’re not hard work, it’s when they get up a bit and into the toddler stage and then baby no2 comes along maybe that’s when things for me personally changed.
Now my two boys are no angels but yet they’re not little terrors either, they’re just typical toddlers and anyone who is the owner of tiny humans I’m sure would agree they all have their moments/days. Although this past couple of weeks for me I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones, if it’s stress or what it is but I’ve just been finding motherhood really bloody hard. I’ve been juggling being a stay at home mummy, working late nights, they’ve both been sick, we have had 2trips to the gp’s, vaccinations, lots of night time wake ups from them both and tantrums galore. Then on top of that we had a wee incident with Seth in nursery to deal with this week.
All this has had me shouting (too much), stressing, crying and just feeling like the shittiest mummy EVER. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve rang Peter in tears telling him I can’t do it anymore and that they deserve better. I know they’re kids and these things all come hand in hand with being a parent but sometimes I do wish a mother or father anyone really who’s brought up children themselves were honest with me and told me about all the things that come with parenthood. I would much rather honesty all the way than someone sugar coating it and telling me is would all be rainbows and sunshine filled with blissful days out, crafting, baking and singing like Mary bloody Poppins.
I do believe social media can have a negative effect on mothers these days too though. I like Instagram I do but I am so over the ‘make believe’ side of it. I get that people wanna see pretty pics especially when they’re having a crap day themselves, it helps them escape for a while (I scroll to get an escape too) but for me personally it can leave me feeling even worse and completely inadequate in comparison to those mums that have the house sitting to perfection (still can’t get my head around that one when in ownership of tiny humans) the kids and themselves dressed to perfection, them sitting with a face full of make up, not a hair out of place, all while just chilling in the house playing with the kids after being out having had the bestest day EVER. I will never be an instagram or Pinterest Mummy, homeowner or fashionista it’s just too much work for me lol
And yes I know, I know people only share the good or keep their insta as a hi light reel to capture the good but sometimes I think it’s so nice to see a ‘real life’ photo too and more so a real honest caption. If they’ve had a crap day, tell us. If the child/children have been dicks, tell us don’t pretend or feel like you have to upload a perfect picture or upload the only picture you took that day cause the kids wouldn’t play ball and it was a wasted day out yet tell us it was amazing when in reality it was a disaster from start to finish cause come on admit it we’ve all had those days. And I love those boys of mine beyond words but I do love/need a break from time to time and I’m not afraid to admit that, be it an hour to get my nails or hair done or a full weekend away with Peter it’s needed so I can miss them and come back with a clear head especially when it’s been one of those weeks.
I guess what I’m trying to say is motherhood isn’t plain sailing it’s hard damn work and it thee hardest job we will ever have in our lives and I’m really feeling the pressure of it at the moment but this too shall pass, something I’ve been telling myself since May 2015 when I earned the title of mummy. Sometimes too while your Hubby or partner is out working their arses off (or if you’re a single parent) it can feel so so lonely like you’re the only person in the world that’s dealing with it. My friends don’t all live near by unfortunately either so I can’t just pop over for a cuppa and rant so hence my insta and blogging honesty lol plus I bend poor Peter’s ears about my days which is what they’re for, right?
So let’s all support one another, let’s all celebrate the good days, the bad days and keep it real and remember that we are never alone. I just hope that when my children are older they don’t remember these hard days, the days that mummy was shouting or stressing and they only remember the good days, the days mummy tried her best and most of all ALWAYS loved them unconditionally…Even when they were dicks 🤣🤣🤣